For Real Friday: Announcement

Our hearts are filled with love for what will soon fill our arms!

So, I've been keeping a secret from you!  I am expecting a baby girl in just a little over three months! 

Our plan was to have three children (two didn't seem like enough, but four was too many!) about three years apart.  As most of you know, things don't always go according to our plans!  It worked out pretty well for the first two, but when it came time to start trying for a third, our son started having health issues. 

When Zeke was almost 4, he began having seizures every couple of weeks.  It was terrifying!  The worst was when he had one at a water park, which made the news as a near drowning (but it wasn't...he was in 2 feet of water with a life jacket on, & no water even entered his lungs, since he typically holds his breath during his seizures).  Then, about a year after that, he called me into the bathroom because he had something red (the size of a grape tomato) coming out of his rectum.  (Guess I should have warned you about the graphic nature of this post!)  Again, I was terrified!  It looked like his insides were coming out.  By the time my husband got home, about ten minutes later, it was gone.  This happened several times, & it was determined that it was a rectal prolapse.  (I think it's where the lining of the rectum starts to come out.)  The doctor recommended we have some testing done to make sure Zeke didn't have Cystic Fibrosis, and to also meet with a surgeon in case he needed to have surgery to correct the problem.  To make a long story slightly short, it turned out he didn't have CF & the problem disappeared on it's own.  (I'm sure it was an answer to a lot of prayer!)  We decided to put off any baby plans until we were certain he was healthy.

Once all the health scares passed and we decided to build a house, I found out I was pregnant.  I was shocked!  We hadn't been trying to get pregnant, & honestly, this wasn't a happy surprise for me.  About a month after moving into our home, I started spotting (October 2009).  The doctor scheduled an ultrasound, although, she thought my uterus felt pregnant & told me not to worry.  I went alone to the ultrasound, since my husband was sure everything was fine.  The news was not good.  There was no heartbeat.  I sat for what felt like an eternity, alone in my doctor's office, waiting for him to come in & tell me the dreaded news & discuss my options. 

Suddenly, I wanted to have that baby more than anything.  I felt so guilty for not being excited about the life growing inside me.  I felt like if I had wanted this baby more, then it would have lived.  I cried for days.

Two days after my ultrasound, I had a D&C.  My first "surgery" ever.  When I woke up, I felt empty, like a piece of me was missing.  It took a couple of months for the sadness to leave, although I will never forget this baby.  Even though it was two years ago, I still get sad thinking about it.

Again, we decided to wait on better timing to try for a third child.  When I found out I was pregnant, in early June, I was excited, but cautious.  It took a while before I would trust that this pregnancy would turn out different from my last.  We didn't even tell our kids until I was out of my first trimester!  (They never knew about my last pregnancy & miscarriage.)

Since Zeke & Elie are older (7 &5), it is neat to see how excited they are about this pregnancy!  They love to feel the baby kick, & Elie is constantly trying to come up with "E" names for her!  When we are out shopping, they like to pick out things they think the baby will need.  Zeke informed me that Wal-Mart is the best place to find cute baby clothes!

So, now, we are keeping busy with all the preparations that come with having a baby!  I am determined to make headway on most of the unfinished rooms in our house before the baby gets here.  So far, I have a five page list of things to do in the next three months!  Well, enough babbling, I guess I should get busy on that list!



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